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| Not My Office, But A Reasonable Comp |
They've brought me in for specific expertise that others do not have, and so far, it's been going really well. I'm a lot happier in this role than most of the gigs I've held in my life, my manager is incredibly nice and supportive, and the corporate culture is *astonishingly* better than some of the experiences that I've had.
Now, the bad. I can't say very much about it, really. I don't work for the Fascinating Employer; I work for a contracting company that sends people to the Fascinating Employer. Which means that while you get many of the bells, whistles and trappings involved, you don't *really* have the same status, and if you are wired like me, it also makes you *very* aware of how much you want to keep that status or better moving forward.
I also can't really get into any of the details of the Fascinating Employer's ample and over the top perks. So the moments that make my 9 to 5 feel more like Wonkaland, rather than just another office... well, the details are going to be lacking, because they have to be.
But I can, of course, hint.
I didn't think that the perks were this going to be that much of a deal, folks. I'm a grown up. I've worked at any number of start ups with any number of Costco-infused snack rooms, with the inevitable HR-driven cupcake and donut fetish, with the Oooh So Naughty cheap thrill of beer in the fridge for Friday Wackiness. If you've been in offices with ping pong and foosball tables and after-hour Work Drinks and off-sites at nice restaurants, it starts to feel like every other place.
All of that stuff becomes table stakes with a disturbing quickness, and the relative lack of variety and Hey, I Can Go To Costco And Get My Own Grub means that you still see people stomping off to Starbucks or into town because, well, food.
And then there's what the Fascinating Employer does, and... yeah.
I used to think I had personal discipline, folks. Thankfully, the Fascinating Employer is staffed head to toe with young and in shape people (many of them who avail themselves of the in-office workout equipment), all of whom subtly remind you that you are not the weight or age or height or skin quality that you want to be, so maybe mix in some (impeccable and astonishing) salad with your truffle-infused triple chocolate salted caramel and garnished with real unicorn shavings brownie. (Not a real thing, but you get the point.)
So just have some fruit, right? That's good for you and they can't do that better than everyone else and... oh dear God, the fresh pears. How do they get bananas that are just always perfectly ripe and massive? Fine, fine, I'll just have some coffee... that's freshly ground from beans that are just better than the beans the rest of the world uses, and I'm not even a coffee snob. But this place is going to turn me into one.
Oh, and there are web sites that list all of your menu options, because why wouldn't there be? If there's duck today at one of the ridiculous number of dining options, you're going to want to know about the duck, right? (It was so good. And I'm not a duck guy, either.)
And if you don't want to bring your laptop, there are loaners, and if you don't want to work at your desk, hey presto, just go wander and take any number of comfy chairs with fabulous views or secluded little corners if that's what helps you concentrate better.
And all of this means that you never, ever leave the building, because why would you want to? (Which is, of course, the point.)
It's the first time I've ever worked for anything this massive, or anything this pampered.
And it's making me wonder why I didn't do everything in my power to get into a place like this decades ago, honestly...
