The Emperor's New Super

When my kids were younger, I'd read to them before bedtime, mostly because it would spark conversations, and there's nothing better in my world as a father than the conversations.

One of which has occurred often enough so that the kids know the answer before they even asked the question. "Daddy, what's your favorite fairy tale?" My answer, always, is "The Emperor's New Clothes", the classic point of how peer pressure to see something that isn't there doesn't, well, create it's own reality. I give it my own special spin by noting how much I love the tailors in this story, who get paid for, well, nothing. (When I tell the story, they get away clean and live happily ever after. A better ending, really.)

So it's the days before the final pro football game of the season, which is also the 50th of its kind. It's also the week where the media persists in the shared public delusion that ads with a $5 million 30-second price tag are culturally relevant. Also, that we should watch them with the same attention that we might, well, watch the game, despite the fact that they will all be online now or later, and they are, well, ads. Many of which will be beaten into the ground for anyone who watches sports within a week.

It's also, well, right in my wheelhouse, in that I blog about sports as well as marketing and advertising. So why resist the easy content, right? I should just kick my feet back and let the blog write itself, maybe with a piece about old vs new (one of the team's quarterbacks has been on every ad campaign in the past 15 years, while the other has a young guy that's likely to be on every one in the next 10 years), or serious vs. fun players, or...

Well, no. I just can't do it. Because while I enjoy that advertisers have a gold ring to shoot for -- it's not like there are many creatives that get the chance to talk to nine figures of people at once -- the plain and simple is that this was an irresponsible marketing decision decades ago, and it's a more irresponsible one now.

But it's not really the reach that's driving this, because getting to nine figures of people isn't really a good move for anyone outside of maybe a laundry detergent manufacturer, and maybe not even them. There's just not that many consumer segments where the prospect list goes that deep.

It's just the spectacle of how much the placement costs, and the knowledge that every 30 second spot is another $5 million down the memory hole.

As for the idea that the ads are content now, well, no. They are ads. And while content has gone down in value a lot in the past few years, with user-generated work and fan fiction and cosplay and all sorts of weak tea getting a foothold in the mainstream, um, no. They are ads. Even the "best" native work isn't content, because They. Are. Ads. Moving on.)

Paying attention to these campaigns just because of the price tag is like going to a 5-star restaurant to drink the tap water. It's like making a new car purchase decision based entirely on the paint job. It's like refusing to consider clothes in a shopping trip if they are on sale.

It is, basically, insane.

And the fact that the insanity happens every year, and only seems to get more insane?

Well, that doesn't make the emperor any less naked, does it?

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They Who Must Not Be Named

Pleased To Meet You

The other day, I was on the phone with a good friend from my network, for the first time in a long time. As we caught up and talked about some of the places we've been, the conversation turned to a mutual acquaintance that had done well for themself, while their company had, well, not. As my contact had inside knowledge on the size of the largesse, and how little that seemed to be, well, earned, the mutual thought went through both of us: namely, what a perversion of the process this was, and how unjust it seemed, compared to what others had done and received for their time.

It is, of course, a terrible place for your brain to go, and yet, it's pretty much irresistible. Think about it long enough, and you'll lose your faith in capitalism, or at the very least, a just and loving deity. But the plain and simple fact about people who drive no value to anyone but themselves is, that, well, at the end of the day, they have to be them... and in so being, they will be unlikely to know real peace or satisfaction from that windfall.

Or, at least, that's the hope.

The reality is, of course, whatever occurs in that particular situation. We also might not have the full story of the work done by the person we didn't think much of, or what their real agenda or mission was. For all we know, we've got it all wrong, or even if that's not the case, that they might be doing amazing work for charity, or have a bevy of challenged family that need the funds. Hell, even if it's all going to terrible luxury purchases, some artisan had to make those, right? Capitalism wins again.

There's also this, and the very obvious reason why this entire post was (as far as you know) theoretical, along with anonymous... my contact and I are tight, but what if we had the conversation in a coffee shop, rather than on the phone? And the right / wrong person was in said shop, and caught wind of our true feelings?

Well, that's how billables, opportunities, and connections dry up, honestly. And if we've both learned anything over the years -- and we've learned a lot -- it's this: there is no such thing as job security in this world, and you are only as good as your network.

Which might include our affluent friend!

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Feel free to comment, as well as like or share this column, connect with me on LinkedIn, or email me at davidlmountain at gmail dot com, or hit the RFP boxes at top right. RFPs are always free, and we hope to hear from you soon.

The Ever-Constant End Of Email

User Error

In my feeds, there's a column I've seen at least 30 times over the years, all by different authors, with different words, but the same point: email is just the worst, and it's going away.

It's time-inefficient. It's strangling people's days. Such and such company got rid of it altogether, and now they are swimming in cash and endorphins. Along with the non-standing desk, the existence of coffee and the fact that some companies persist to have meetings, there's no greater silent killer of the business class. And so on, and so on.

What I'm always reminded of, in the scant moments that these things pass by my eyes, is something I picked up in a college philosophy class. I'm reducing it from it's complete definition to a more useful simplicity, but here goes...

The Naturalistic Fallacy: What is true for me is true for all.

There's probably a dozen ways to reach me digitally. Social media accounts, email channels, texting numbers, instant messenger windows; honestly, whatever platform you want, I'll work with it. What you'd also find in all of those accounts is that the in-box is clean, or will be within a day. (Also, that the way to use email is different than IMs, so your in-box for one isn't as critical as another. But I digress.)

Do I spend the entirety of my day on email? Hardly. I'm pretty ruthless with my time, and when I'm at my best, I am only doing one thing at a time. What I get out of email is, on a daily basis, a lot more than what I put into it.

That's because it compromises the majority of my competitive analysis and research for the day. If someone is sending me stuff that isn't helpful, I block it. I don't take days off to let the task accrue to dangerous levels, and I file obsessively, because that practice routinely pays off when I'm trying to answer a question or formulate a plan.

There's also this: I can't really think of too many co-workers, over the years, that were overwhelmed by email... who I'd really choose, if I were starting a company from scratch, to hire.

Literacy matters. Focus is important. Discipline in how you spend your time is a major difference between companies that work, and the ones that fail.

So... who, exactly, are we trying to save with these innovations?

And if you are one of these folks with the email problem, shouldn't you look to adjust the way you work, rather than hope for the functioning world to change for you?

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Feel free to comment, as well as like or share this column, connect with me on LinkedIn, or email me at davidlmountain at gmail dot com, or hit the RFP boxes at top right. RFPs are always free, and we hope to hear from you soon.