Advertisers Need To Know More About Us

Forever In My Feed

Six weeks ago, my eldest was just starting her sophomore year at high school. (She's 15, and don't worry -- this is actually about marketing and advertising.) We live a little less than two miles from her school, and there is no convenient bus or mass transit option. Historically, my wife would provide taxi service, but she's now got a part-time job, so my eldest is scrambling to figure out a way home for a few days every week. Walking and biking are options, and so is just staying at the school late at extra-curricular activities, but that's up to three hours after the final class where she's just hanging out. This will all stop being a problem, perhaps, when she's driving and we can think about getting her a car, but for now, it's a bit of a strain. Her books are heavy, and she's fashionable enough to not want to be sweaty at class on a bike or from taking a half hour hike, maybe alone.

Oh a whim, I started to poke around the Web to see if there might be another transportation option. That's when I saw the hoverboard. You have probably seen them on the news or YouTube. They are kind of like a Segway without a podium, and there's a picture of one at the top of this column. Some go up to 10 mph and can operate for up to an hour, so hey -- maybe an option. It looked small enough to maybe fit in her locker. I read some reviews, went to a few sites to price options.

Then I showed it to her, and got the kind of side eye and shade that only a fashionable 15 year old can throw. Oh well. Transaction averted; not the first time that Dad's Idea got shot down. No worries.

Anyone that has thought about buying something on the Web, and wound up not doing it, knows what happens next. The hoverboard has been in my banner ads ever since, with an ever-changing number of prices and shipping options, from an ever-changing number of vendors.
I could, of course, opt out of these banners by clicking on the AdChoices logos, or maybe clearing my cookies, and so on. I am, of course, not going to do this, because no one in the world ever has done that, because honestly, who has the time? Besides, if the hoverboard was not in my ads, it would just be something else.

Now, some see this kind of thing as proof of Advertiser Malfeasance, or an invasion of privacy, or just one more instance of modern life going to hell in a handbasket. (Have you ever noticed that handbaskets are the only carrying containers for trips to the netherworld? No one's going to hell in a backpack. But I digress.)

I see things a little differently. I see an advertising medium that, far from getting too much information on the lives of individuals, just isn't getting enough. In my case, that the hoverboard is a no sale.

In a few more months, I'll shop for some other stuff as part of my Q4 gift giving. My retargeting banners will reset to whatever new thing comes into my life without a purchase. But offline, I'll still be watching football games... and unless there is Congressional action or some spectacular bit of public relations misery, I will be seeing ads for daily fantasy leagues, auto insurance, mobile phones and services, trucks and fast food.

I don't play daily fantasy leagues, and never will. My wife works for an insurance company, so I'm out of market there, thanks to her employee discount. I got my phone four months ago, and won't replace it for another 18 months at least. I've never bought a truck, and never will. I don't do fast food. There's no way to opt out of any of those ads. (And honestly, I think I'd pay money to not see any more daily fantasy league ads. I also don't think I'd be alone in making that purchase.)

Eventually, online advertising will grow up and consolidate targeting files, because there's money in better targeting, and much of the infrastructure is already in place, especially with advertising being much more tied to purchase. Much later, targeting will also occur offline, and I'll stop seeing all of those lovely ads that are so irrelevant to my life.

There's simply too much money in doing things smarter, and life for consumers will also get better. Smarter will happen, as soon as we move past this incomplete amount of information. And just because we're used to dumb ads in non-digital mediums, that doesn't make them less dumb.

(Oh, and as for what my kid wound up doing, rather than pioneering a new transportation fad? She's now pretty much hanging out at her best friend's house after school, who lives pretty close by. And giving me side eye for new and better things.)

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