A Recession-Proof Consumer Category?

Selfie X2

This weekend was very busy around the house. (Don't worry, we'll get to the marketing and advertising soon.) I had my poker game on Friday night, and my eldest was holding a Halloween event the next day. My wife wound up working on both weekend days, and my youngest had an illness. Into that mix, enter a dog, seen above.

Minion, our 18-month-old collie mix, needs a lot of exercise, then peace and quiet, to be at his best. If there a lot of people around, it tends to activate his herding instincts and makes him antsy, but he's great around other dogs, because it lets him engage in brief and intense exercise. He's the kind of pooch that wants to play for about 10 minutes every 90, which doesn't always make him the best of choice for a busy family, but it works out well enough.

He's also a great companion, and borderline spoiled in that way that dogs after kids get spoiled, because a family member that doesn't need a college fund or driver's license, and doesn't engage in the usual teen drama, just has appeal for miles.

So instead of having him around when he wasn't going to get enough attention and just have issues, we chose to board him for a couple of days. We put him up at a local dog kennel and exercise facility that we've used before. He had a good time (the business has web cams), and when I picked him up this morning, he was in perfect health and happiness.

Now, to the marketing and advertising.

True wages for most American households have been stagnant or worse for decades now, but what hasn't been stagnant is the amount that we spend on our pets. Instead of just selling on price, pet food makers have continually upped the seeming quality and marketing, going for more organic materials and specialized products. In the past five years, there's also been an explosion of pet bakeries to go with the food, and now, dog spa treatment.

There are cheaper kennels (many, honestly) than the one we use. I won't get into the specifics on what was spent here, but I have no doubt that the facility is a profitable business, even on the customers that don't spring for the full services. Stuff like spa days for dogs are, of course, not a necessity, or something the dog requests. Instead, it's a matter of making the owner feel good, and doing something special for a companion. The market segment just keeps rising, with seemingly no end in sight, especially with more affluent households going for pet ownership.

I am, personally, a dog guy. I have had them for nearly my entire adult life, from purebreds to strays, and never the same breed twice. I've also lived with all kinds of other pets (gerbils, rabbits, cats, lizards, birds, fish). I like taking care of them, think that the benefits outweigh the costs, and get many of my ideas for business and creative while taking Min on his daily walk.

But throwing undue money at them is silly, in ways that seem prone for backlash at some point. My guess is that there will be some kind of pushback as comedians and social commenters call specific points of insanity out at some point, but there hasn't been up to now, and there's no reason why there should be a sudden change of priorities. Frankly, we love our pets a lot more than we do our fellow citizens.

Maybe smartphones, which seem to have the same level of affection for many of their owners, will start to gate the purchasing. But those same devices are used so often to share pictures of our companions, and maybe even publicize the services via social media.

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Feel free to comment, as well as like or share this column, connect with me on LinkedIn, or email me at davidlmountain at gmail dot com, or hit the RFP boxes at top right. RFPs are always free, and we hope to hear from you soon.

Introducing Scroober, Ad Blocking For Outdoor Ads

Scroober 2.0

NEWARK, NJ - A new start-up is turning heads here in the greater New York City area. Scroober promises to help provide ad-free options for users who want to do without the intrusions of outdoor advertising.

The Scroober app works by giving consumers who are being bothered by outdoor ads the opportunity to summon Scroober Hired Goons(TM), who either stand in front of the offending ad, or take more aggressive action against the placement.

"For us, it was a no-brainer after the success of ad blockers," said Scroober CEO Tony "Fat Tony" Toney. "Outdoor advertisers take up a lot of mobile bandwidth by blocking cell phone signals. Plus, dey get in the background of selfies, so we feel completely justified by being uh, whadyacallit, disruptive. Yeah, disruptive."

Scroober works through direct donations from its users, who also have the option of tipping. Some customers have complained about what Scroober refers to as surge pricing, which tends to happen when the Scroober associate is much larger than the customer.

"I love the convenience of Scroober," says a client who requested to remain anonymous with an increasing amount of desperation in his voice. "My Scroober associate was extremely professional, prompt, and direct. Also, surprisingly good with buzzwords, really. I don't think I'm going to be able to use the word 'synergy' for a long, long time."

Since Scroober's associates are independent contractors, the company avoids legal liability and health benefits. "Ah, dat's allright," says contractor Antonio "Knuckles" Anton. "I likes setting my own hours and living by my own rules. I gets lots of exercise and fresh air, and I know I'm doing good for my family. Besides, when youse hit a billboard, it don't hit back."

"Outdoor advertisers have kind of brought this on themselves," said online advertising professional and fourth-wall breaker Dave "Tony" Mountain. "Their failure to control frequency, respect the privacy of their users, and simply not make ads that were good enough to avoid the general public's desire to want to not see them made something like Scroober an inevitability. But maybe they'll use this as a magical way to make better outdoor ads."

"What our investors like about Scroober is how it gives local craftspeople in your area -- your dockworkers, carnies, nightclub personnel, substitute teachers and copywriters -- the chance to add to their revenue stream," said CFO Anthony "Numbers" Anthony. "Plus, dey get to do something they love, which is, uh, disrupt. Yeah, disrupt."

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Feel free to comment, as well as like or share this column, connect with me on LinkedIn, or email me at davidlmountain at gmail dot com, or hit the RFP boxes at top right. RFPs are always free, and we hope to hear from you soon.

Making Your Own Fun, With Numbers

Dave Atell Rules

This week at my gig, I've gone into serious nerdery as an analyst... all in the pursuit of making something simple for the end user. Taking inspiration from the sabermetric baseball analysis that first fired my imagination as a kid, I'm attempting to role up a myriad number of metrics into one index. The goal is to give my co-workers and clients something where they don't have to deal with all of the complexity, but still get a sense of what makes for a better and worse campaign, both in its own category and as a global performer. It's been a ton of number crunching along with heavy thought processes, and there are times when I just have to get up and take a walk, before my eyes get fixated and my brain fogs up.

It's very different from past gigs, but the reason why it's fun -- and yeah, hours with numbers can, honestly, be fun -- is because I'm learning new things about our consumers and clients, and what I learn today frequently opens up something new I can learn tomorrow. There's also the fact that I'm learning not just from what our internal teams are doing, but also what runs through our pipes that originated in outside sources.

I can't get into the absolute details of this, of course, because that's proprietary, and something you need to be a client to learn. But what I've got is a mix of right and left brain, numbers producing actionable creative moves, creative moves creating discernible differences in analytics.

This isn't the first time I've had this kind of professional experience, and honestly, once you've had it, you pretty much don't ever want to work a gig that doesn't offer that opportunity. I'll even go one further. If you are at a company that's at a certain headcount or early stage in its evolution, you might need this kind of learning engine... and if you don't have it, you're probably not going to make it in the long run. (There have been gigs where you would think that you were going to get this, but the reality was less than that, mostly because of shortfalls in other teams.)

The key, of course, is actionable insight, from statistically significant sample sizes, and in aspects you can replicate at scale -- and to not lose your edge from the number work. These aren't easy to find, but they are out there, especially in industries that aren't at the forefront of innovation. Or, that you can port from other consumer categories.

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Feel free to comment, as well as like or share this column, connect with me on LinkedIn, or email me at davidlmountain at gmail dot com, or hit the RFP boxes at top right. RFPs are always free, and we hope to hear from you soon.